If only she were a-pretty
I would say there’s a ray of hope
I know damn well she is nutty
But she’s a cutie, I can cope
Regrettably she has a face
Even her mother hates. (x2)
If only she were a-pulpy
I would say there’s a ray of hope
I know damn well she is ugly
But she has great curves, I can cope
Regrettably she is flatter
Than your average platter. (x2)
If only she were a sweetie
I would say there’s a ray of hope
She is no Rubenesque beauty
But she’s like honey, I can cope
Unfortunately she is rude
And never in the mood. (x2)
If only she were a-brainy
I would say there’s a ray of hope
I know damn well she’s a meanie
But she’s witty and I can cope
Unfortunately she is dense
And lacks all common sense. (x2)
If only she were a cooker
I would say there’s a ray of hope
She is dumb and not a looker
But we eat well and I can cope
Unfortunately her pot roast
Looks and tastes like burnt toast. (x2)
If only she were true to me
I would say there’s a ray of hope
She’s hard on the eye and tummy
But she’s faithful and I can cope
Unfortunately she sees more
Johns than a working whore. (x2)
If only she were a-dying
I would say there’s a ray of hope
I know damn well she’s a-lying
But she’s at the end of her rope
Too bad she’s built like a stone wall
She will bury us all. (x2)
© Didier Delahaye, 2005
Si seulement elle était jolie
Je dirais: “tout n´est pas perdu.
Elle est folle, c´est entendu,
Mais quelle beauté accomplie!”
Hélas elle est plus laide bientôt
Que les sept péchés capitaux. {2x}
Si seulement elle avait des formes,
Je dirais: “tout n´est pas perdu,
Elle est moche c´est entendu,
Mais c´est Venus copie conforme.”
Malheureusement, c´est désolant,
C´est le vrai squelette ambulant. {2x}
Si seulement elle était gentille,
Je dirais: “tout n´est pas perdu,
Elle est plate c´est entendu,
mais c´est la meilleure des filles.”
Malheureusement c´est un chameau,
Un succube, tranchons le mot. {2x}
Si elle était intelligente,
Je dirais: “tout n´est pas perdu,
Elle est vache, c´est entendu,
Mais c´est une femme savante.”
Malheureusement elle est très bête
Et tout à fait analphabète. {2x}
Si seulement l´était cuisinière,
Je dirais: “tout n´est pas perdu,
Elle est sotte, c´est entendu,
Mais quelle artiste culinaire!”
Malheureusement sa chère m´a
Pour toujours gâté l´estomac. {2x}
Si seulement elle était fidèle,
Je dirais :”tout n´est pas perdu,
Elle m´empoisonne, c´est entendu,
Mais c´est une épouse modèle.”
Malheureusement elle est, papa,
Folle d´un cul qu´elle n´a pas! {2x}
Si seulement l´était moribonde,
Je dirais: “tout n´est pas perdu,
Elle me trompe c´est entendu,
Mais elle va quitter le monde.”
Malheureusement jamais elle tousse:
Elle nous enterrera tous. {2x}
Georges Brassens, inédit
